Chewy or Crispy - Ep. 138

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You put on your bath robe after exiting your shower, having cleansed your body. You are settling into a nice evening, relaxing on your plush sofa with a nice glass of Riesling. Your jazz record is playing in the background, settling you into a quiet evening of solitude. You are looking around at your house, appreciating the atmosphere within the comforts of your home.

A loud crash emanates from outside of your house. You groan and pull yourself up off of your sofa to move to the window. A few ninjas are crawling over your fence, eyeing your house in an attempt to locate a point of entry. You sigh and set down your glass of wine. You grab a katana off of your wall and unsheathe it slowly, staring at the gleaming metal as it is released. You loosely shake it up and down, feeling the weight of the weapon in your hand. You swiftly move over to the light switch and turn the lights off, blending into the darkness. You pick your hiding spot and you wait as they begin to enter your home, looking for their contract to kill.

Hello, Chompers! This week, we have a fantastic show for you as we discussed the new PS5 announcement. We paired that with discussion of PS VR, Bethesda, Hollow Knight, golf games, Smash’s new Joker addition, Katana Zero, and more! We also included our social media comments and our poll results. Come check it out and enjoy the gaming talk.

Times:

Intros with first Playstation memories - 0:27

Playstation 5 - 13:03

PSVR Future - 25:05

Listener Comments - 44:56

Weekly Polls - 1:22:47

Katana Zero - 1:44:43

Recorded April 19, 2019

Super Like - Ep. 137

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You hop on your phone while you’re sitting on the toilet for an undisclosed amount of time. You thumb lazily through various social media sites, looking for any inspiration. Nothing catches your eye; just heaps of selfies, rants from your crazy uncle that border on racism and xenophobia, ads for garbage products that some impoverished kids in a third world country worked on pennies on the dollar for, and inspirational quotes from people that you have seen for the 37th time this week.

You decide to exit out of social media. You browse through your other apps, hoping something pops out at you. Success! Tinder sits there, gleaming with its red flame icon. It begins to call out to you, “…swiiiiiiiiiiiiipppppe. Swiiiiiiiiiipppppe.” You listen to its plea and open up the app. It loads for a brief moment, whetting your desire to meet hot new singles in your area. A picture pops up and you see “NBA Live 19” on the screen. You swipe left in disgust, as your face crinkles in revolt. The next game pops up and you see “Far Cry New Dawn.” The picture is beautiful as the pink interlaced with the nature of the photo intrigues you. You look at more pictures and see photos of combat. The images are stunning! You click on the bio to read more. You get a few lines in and are completely underwhelmed by the lackluster plot. Suddenly, the photos seem less beautiful as you look again. You contemplate it for a few brief moments before swiping left.

You sigh, feeling as if this time spent on your smartphone has been a huge letdown. Social media has let you down. Tinder just isn’t cutting it. But wait! Suddenly, a picture of a Western in space illuminates onto your screen. You are mesmerized by the clash of two genres. It is pretty. It has character. It has an interesting art style. You look at more pictures, suddenly feeling giddy. Is this love at first sight?” you think to yourself. You can barely contain your excitement. You stand up and pull your trousers to your waist, completely forgetting to wipe away the excess. You don’t even flush the toilet. You start to pace your residence as you look at the pictures deeply. You go to the bio, eager to learn more. “The Outer Worlds is a role-playing video game featuring a first-person perspective. In the early stages of the game, the player can create their own character and unlock a ship, which acts as the game's central hub space.” You have seen all that you need to see. You swipe up, super liking the game. Now comes the waiting game to see if you match.

Hey there, Chompers. We had a lot of fun this week as we discussed games that we didn’t initially want to play, played, and were disgusted at ourselves for having missed the hype. We squeezed some actual gaming talk in there as we discussed some Smash and Hollow Knight. We pursued an unexpected Final Fantasy discussion, as we always seem to do, read some wonderful listener comments, and revealed the results of the polls. Thank you guys for listening, and enjoy swiping right on us!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Skipped Games we returned to - 12:35

Listener Comments - 47:45

Spyro Reignited Trilogy - 1:26:42

Virtual Layton w. poll - 1:36:35

The Rest of the Weekly Polls - 1:56:10

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:57:04

Hollow Knight - 2:01:31

Recorded April 12, 2019

Word Pictures - Ep. 136

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This week the Sword Chomp crew (sans Shea) discuss the games that have gotten them through tough times. Without the professor droning on and on forever, there's room for tons of listener comments (and there were a lot of great ones on this topic) and catching up on what everyone has been playing. Pull up a drink, and crack open an easy chair while we talk about the Spyro Reignited Trilogy, Wandersong, Hollow Knight, Baba Is You, Elder Scrolls Blades, and much more. Enjoy the show!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Using Games to Cope - 4:30

Spyro Reignited Trilogy - 22:11

Listener Comments - 28:00

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:07:26

Wandersong - 1:11:50

Hollow Knight - 1:19:25

Baba Is You - 1:32:42

No Man's Sky VR - 1:39:55

Elder Scrolls Blades - 1:46:52

Last Minute Listener Comment - 1:57:52

Recorded April 5, 2019

A Little Bit of... - Ep. 135

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This week on the Chompcast, we had fun as Shea joined Morgan for a second week in his podcasting lair. We started off the show with discussing the SNES games that influenced our future game-playing choices. We shared our poll results after that. Next, we discussed the new Borderlands 3 trailer, and we asked you, the listeners, how you felt about it. We thank our Patreon supporters by giving them a hilarious shout-out (if you want to sign up, you can do so here). We wrapped up the show with our thoughts on the gaming world’s current masochist experience.

Our sponsor is Sassy D Merch, and they can be found here!

Intro – 00:00:27

Show Topic – 00:17:20

Polls – 00:55:02

Sassy D Merch Ad – 01:07:30

Borderlands 3 Talk – 01:10:05

Patreon Shout-outs – 01:34:07

Sekiro – 01:38:33

The Dark Souls of - Ep. 134

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A fun occasion this week has occurred, as Shea returned from across the pond to record the newest episode of the Chompcast in Morgan’s lair! We slam into this week with a blow of our hammer as we discuss Souls-esque games, or action role-playing games. We continue the talk as we delve into our initial impressions on Sekiro. Fish, Josh, and Morgan talk about Donkey Kong: Tropical Freeze, as Morgan’s pestering of Fish to play it has paid off. Last, we discuss the weekly poll results and the community comments on the topic.

Our weekly sponsor, Sassy D Merch, can be found here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Souls Games - 13:45

Community Comments - 33:25

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:15:52

Weekly Polls - 1:22:09

Recorded March 22, 2019

A Dark Twist - Ep. 133

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Ladies and gentlemen, this is the podcast that Morgan and Shea have been waiting for. This week, the topic of the Chompcast was sports gaming. Do we like it? Is it still interesting? Getting through Josh’s groans every 12 seconds (not really), we discussed our social media polls and interactions throughout the week. The actual gameplay was a bit slim, as we sadly didn’t play much this week. Dig your veneers into this fun-filled episode by the crew of Swordchomp!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Sports Games - 15:45

Listener Comments - 56:25

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:23:54

Weekly Polls - 1:27:21

Patreon Poll - 1:58:48

Recorded March 15, 2019

Directors Eye - Ep. 132

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“Honey, I think that we need to break up,” the distressed woman stated.

“What? Why?!” the woman’s girlfriend shouted at her.

The woman cautiously responded, “I feel like our chemistry is off somehow. Something just hasn’t felt right since this relationship started.”

Suddenly, the conversation between the two froze. A third woman appeared. She opened a menu in thin air, and began to hit options frantically. She pressed one final button, prompting a ball of ethereal light shot from the menu into the two dating women. The third woman closed the menu and disappeared as fast as she had materialized. The scene started where it left off.

The first woman rubbed her head, feeling out of sorts. She opened her eyes and looked at her girlfriend. She began to feel in a way that she had never felt before. She grabbed her girlfriend’s hand, seeing her for the first time in a new way.

“I don’t know what I was talking about. I love you. I’ve always felt special with you. I don’t want to live a life without you,” she professed to her girlfriend, smiling.

The girlfriend smiled right back at the woman. A giant stream of saliva dribbled out of her mouth and poured onto the ground. The woman furled her brow and quizzically considered what just happened. She had never seen her girlfriend do that before.

The scene froze again, and the third woman reappeared, She pulled the menu out of thin air a second time, feverishly punched some buttons. The balls of light materialized and shot into the two dating women. The woman and the menu both disappeared, and the scene proceeded for a second time.

The woman had no recollection of the spittle incident, just remembering smiling with her girlfriend after rescinding her initial desire to end their relationship. She went in to kiss her girlfriend. As she planted her lips onto her girlfriend’s, her girlfriend’s lips felt wooden and stiff. The girlfriend barely moved her lips, yet still felt the passion that the woman had admitted to feeling. The scene paused for a third time.

Unlike real life situations, games in the current era have the ability to be adjusted and fixed to be a more complete experience. But how does that influence the initial playing of the game? Does updating a game give it a completely different ending feel compared to games of previous generations? That’s the question we posed to ourselves this week, ever-curious about the inner workings of gaming. We covered a multitude of games, such as Anthem, Ape Out, WarGroove, and more. Lastly, we took your comments and poll results and wrapped them up in a nice Sword Chomp sub...with a delicious side of some spicy mustard. Enjoy this incredibly fun and introspective episode!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Sassy D Merch ad - 2:39

Margarita vs Margarita - 6:16

Game Patches - 12:25

Anthem - 1:00:04

WarGroove - 1:08:06

Apex Legends listener comments - 1:33:44

Polls - 2:03:38

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate - 2:11:43

Ape Out - 2:16:32

Wrap-up - 2:35:00

Recorded March 8, 2019

Groovy - Ep. 131

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Dun dun dun dun dun-dun dun dun dun dun dun-dun!

You are face to face with a trainer. You are clutching at your belt, deciding which Pokemon to throw out first. Your enemy tosses her first Pokeball out, and a Steelix emerges.

You think to yourself, I know what I’ll do! I’ll throw out my new water starter! It needs the experience. You take a Pokeball from your belt and throw it to the battlefield.

You look in front of you in confusion and horror. A Trubbish sits on the field staring back at you with its gomi eyes.

“What the hell?” you say out loud.

You throw the Pokeball back and put the Pokemon back into its ball.

“I’ve never even caught this Pokemon before. Oh well. Next one!”

Another Trubbish emerges.

“For the love of Arceus!”

You return the second Trubbish. You throw the other four Pokeballs at once, and 4 Trubbish sit in a garbage pile together. You stare dumbfounded. You throw the empty Pokeballs and the other two to the ground, and you walk away in anger.

This week on the Chompcast, Pokemon has made its away around to us again, as we discuss our first impressions of the reveal of Gen 8. We discuss our time with Anthem, enjoying it more than the critics. Morgan discusses his time with Far Cry: New Dawn. We run through the social media business, and we give you our business as we have fun in this excellent episode!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Pokemon Sword and Shield impressions - 2:18

Listener Pokemon comments - 38:04

Anthem - 1:03:24

Far Cry New Dawn - 1:45:22

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:49:15

Catching up with the crew - 1:51:38

Legalizing Prostitution - 1:59:06

Recorded March 1, 2019

Dayamon - Ep. 130

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What games have you been buying, ya jabroni? Don’t look at me like that, or I’ll knock your teeth out! Anyways, we’ve been buying the same games over and over again because…well it’s none of your damn business. You wanna go, loser? Didn’t think so.

HEY, I’M WALKING HERE!

So check this out, we discuss those games we love to buy. We talk about Far Cry New Dawn. We talk about our sponsor who loves phalluses. We talk about this listener comments and poll results, and if you have a problem with it, you can go fly a kite, ya turd!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Games we keep buying - 22:39

Listener Comments - 49:27

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:05:36

Far Cry New Dawn - 1:19:35

Weekly Polls - 1:37:04

Patreon Shout-out - 1:56:00

Recorded February 22, 2019

Jim to His Friends - Ep. 129

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Five hosts. One podcast. Put in the center of the ring with one microphone, five hosts must fight to shout their nonsensical meanderings to you, the listener. Armed with rancorous words and a surplus of phallic japes, they battle to the humiliation. Fish, Josh, Morgan, Shea, and frequent guest, Rich. Listen as they discuss the Nintendo Direct, Apex Legends, Kingdom Hearts 3, Wargroove, and more in this action-packed bloodletting tournament.

Our wonderful sponsors for this week’s episode were Two Girls One Mic and Sassy D Merch. Feel free to check out Yvette and Alice’s podcast here, and please observe the finer wares of the Sassy D merchandise here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Nintendo Direct - 13:08

Listener Comments - 1:02:40

Two Girls One Mic ad - 1:14:59

Apex Legends - 1:16:26

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:33:46

Final Fantasy 8 - 1:35:11

Wargroove - 1:44:42

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:56:00

Recorded February 15, 2019

The Blue Bullet - Ep. 128

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Josh and Shea are sitting by a fireside enjoying a nice glass of Glenlivet and chamomile, respectably. In their maroon, high-backed sofa chairs, they wait. There is a reverential silence between them, both basking in the hearth and savoring their delightful solutions. They glance over at each other after swallowing their sips, and nod their heads while pouting their lower lips out in approval.

Oh, I’m a gummy bear

Yes, I’m a gummy bear

The sound of two chaps singing in the distance prods its way into the scene. The flame begins to flicker in protest. Josh closes his eyes in distress and gently turning his head to the neck. His mouth crunches together to hold in his annoyance. Shea grabs his eyebrow ridges with his right thumb and pointer finger, looking downwards in despair.

Oh, I’m a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear

Josh opens his eyes, and looks at his glass of scotch. He pushes it away, no longer being able to stomach the drink as the sound grows nearer. Shea begins to dry heave lightly, attempting to keep his mouth closed and the tea down as the song violates their ears. The door bursts open, and Fish and Morgan appear in the doorway holding hands. They are sporting bear ears on their heads, short neon shorts, and face paint. They hold their free hands to the sky and tilt their head as they sing:

I’m a jelly bear cause I’M A GUMMY BEAAAAAAR!

Josh punches the glass across the room in rage, shattering the glass. The contents splash all over some very important, incredibly sophisticated leather-bound books, soaking the pages. Shea turns away from everyone and begins to purge onto the mahogany flooring. He wipes his mouth and faces them with tears welled in his eyes and occasionally dripping down his face.

“Please,” Josh looks and says to the two guests, “be quiet. Just hush your perverted tongues.”

Fish and Morgan looks to each other quizzically, and then back to the two in their chairs. They shrug their shoulders. They both open their mouth, taking in a deep breath to continue their song. At that moment, the flame decides that it has had enough of the two’s tomfoolery. It spontaneously roars, causing the entire house to light aflame in a matter of seconds. The four burn and are never heard from again.

This week on the Chompcast, we talk about competitive gaming, and console each other about sucking so hard. Next, we discussed the new battle royale game sweeping the gaming world, Apex Legends. We discuss our first bit of time with Kingdom Hearts 3. Rounding up the end of the show, we discuss the listener poll results.

Thank you to our sponsor Sassy D Merch for providing us with endless phallic jokes and merchandise. If you are interested, check them out here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Competitive Games - 15:57

Listener Comments - 41:19

Apex Legends - 52:02

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:16:53

Sponsored by Sassy D Merch - 1:41:41

Weekly Polls - 1:46:39

Recorded February 8, 2019

Dragon-like Interactions - Ep. 127

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Fish was a dirty rotten bitch this week and decided to talk shit on Skyrim, so this synopsis is going to be petty and, quite frankly, ridiculous. This week, we decided to discuss games that were overrated or underrated with a revisionist history lens. The other three had great input and insight. However, the ichthyoid carcass washed up on the shores of the bog of eternal stench decided to blow his putrid bubbles in the way of a classic (really, he was right; I’m just bitter). Afterwards, we discussed our time with the Resident Evil 2 remake, Josh’s initial thoughts on Kingdom Hearts 3, and I’m sure Fish did something else in the show but I couldn’t care less about it. Oh, and we discussed dragons...because dragons are important. Enjoy the episode, and I hope Sheogorath drives you completely insane, Fish.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Sponsored by Sassy D Merch - 14:38

Overrated Games - 17:00

Listener Comments (Underrated Games) - 55:02

Games We're Playing - 1:21:58

Resident Evil 2 - 1:52:21

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 2:25:50

Recorded on February 1, 2019

The Reverse Yao Ming - Ep. 126

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You jolt up suddenly as you hear a faint scratching on some wood. You rub your eyes, removing the sleep from them. The couch you were sleeping on was a little rough on your back, and you groan as you pry yourself from the cushions. Legs wide, you lean your head down as you let your body and mind wake up. You attempt to shake the sleepiness from your mind, but you are groggy from the nap. Raising your arms up over your head, you stretch as far as your shoulders will allow you to. You let out an emphatic groan in an attempt to push the soreness out of your body. Your shoulder blades pop as the air leaves your joints.

You hear the scratching again, surprising you. You are unsure if it is the scratching of the wind pushing a branch against your home, or if it is something else. You start to feel unnerved as the scratching continues. You realize that the scratching is coming from somewhere in the house. You start to walk around, frantically looking for the source of the scoring. You stand at the foot of your stairs leading up to the next floor, but the sound is dimmer. You look in the rooms on the first floor, but every room is empty. Your family is gone, nowhere to be seen.

You walk over to the doorway of the basement and put your ear to the darkness. You hear the scratching and it is louder. You feel a pain in your chest and you start to feel sick. Fear is taking over your body. Something is not right. You look for the nearest weapon, and you find a sharp kitchen knife that is dirtied with crusted food. You clench it fiercely as you pull out your smartphone, turn on the light function, and flash it as you start to descend the stairs. The wood creaks with each step, adding to your uneasiness. You start to reason that it must be an animal that found its way into your house and is looking for a way out, you try to reason with yourself. Probably a mouse or a rat. But you know you’re lying to yourself. You feel a presence down here that you don’t want to see.

As you are two steps from the bottom, the scratching stops. You can hear yourself breathing as you are almost completely encased by darkness. You shine the light around as you stop at the last step. You slowly move the light from left to right, looking for anything that would cause the noise you heard upstairs. Suddenly, you see the back of a foot and part of someone’s leg. You freeze for a moment, and then move the light over. A person stands there in front of you, faced away and their head hanging to the left. Their right arm is resting on a wooden shelf with large splinters digging into their fingers and hands. Blood is dripping onto the shelf and floor from the hand.

You take a closer look and you recognize the clothes the person is wearing. “That’s...that’s...” Just then, the person’s head slowly raises. It starts to turn around. You can see the blood stained into the front of the shirt. The knees are scraped and ripped, exposing grey flesh. You look at the face and see your significant other. But it’s not your significant other. You see their mouth ajar as saliva and blood drip out of their mouth. The stench is almost unbearable, overwhelming you. You look at the eyes, but you don’t see your significant other. You see a monster. Your heart drops as you are frozen. The monster who used to be your significant lets out a large groan as they start to shuffle over to you.

This week on the podcast, we had a lot to discuss. We start off the discussion by discussing the future of zombies. Is the trope played out, or are there more stories waiting to be written? Next, we finally answer the question a listener posed to us in December: what, in particular, influences us four hosts to choose and play the games that we do? Next, we catch each other up with the games that we have been playing briefly before discussing the results of the social media polls. Sink your teeth into the brains of this episode!

Intro: 0:27

Zombies discussion: 25:40

Listener question: 58:05

Social media polls: 1:27:30

Patreon Shout Outs: 1:54:46

Image by Keith Allison licensed under Creative Commons Attribution

Recorded January 25, 2019

Fish Ditched Us (an excuse to use this picture again) - Ep. 125

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It's the new year, and we are finally back in action. Josh has put the fireworks away, Shea has given up swiping cold turkey, Fish has eaten the turkey, and Morgan continues to fire bottle rockets out of his bare ass. We start the show off with our most anticipated games of 2019. We continue with a gargantuan amount of social media business. Last, we discuss what games we have played over break, such as Into the Breach, Seasons After Fall, and Hello Neighbor. Come start the year off with the Chompcast.

Recorded January 18, 2019

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 2 Part 2

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The day is finally here. Ladies and gentlemen, 2018 has winded down. It has come and gone. We gave it its proper send-off by giving our personal top 5 lists of our favorite games of the year. Then, we sat down the metaphorical table and hashed out Sword Chomp’s top 5 games of the year. There are some expected big players, but the results WILL SHOCK YOU!!! Was that buzzword enough for you?  Don’t miss our final show of 2018. Thank you for the best year of Sword Chomp yet, and here’s to an excellent 2019 together.

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 2 Part 1

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The day is finally here. Ladies and gentlemen, 2018 has winded down. It has come and gone. We gave it its proper send-off by giving our personal top 5 lists of our favorite games of the year. Then, we sat down the metaphorical table and hashed out Sword Chomp’s top 5 games of the year. There are some expected big players, but the results WILL SHOCK YOU!!! Was that buzzword enough for you?  Don’t miss our final show of 2018. Thank you for the best year of Sword Chomp yet, and here’s to an excellent 2019 together.

Recorded January 2, 2019

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 1 Part 2

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right; it’s the moment you guys have been waiting for. It’s the End of the Year shows! The first part, we delve into the first set of categories we have. We look at our favorite art direction, favorite soundtrack, favorite character, the character we would like to have a drink in a bar with, favorite moment, favorite multiplayer moment, favorite gaming feel, favorite gameplay mechanic, favorite ecosystem, favorite haircut, and favorite boss. After we divulge our personal selections, we deliberate, discuss, and attack each other as we pick the Swordchomp pick for each category. It’s a long one, so hold on to your butts!

Recorded December 28, 2018

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 1 Part 1

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right; it’s the moment you guys have been waiting for. It’s the End of the Year shows! The first part, we delve into the first set of categories we have. We look at our favorite art direction, favorite soundtrack, favorite character, the character we would like to have a drink in a bar with, favorite moment, favorite multiplayer moment, favorite gaming feel, favorite gameplay mechanic, favorite ecosystem, favorite haircut, and favorite boss. After we divulge our personal selections, we deliberate, discuss, and attack each other as we pick the Swordchomp pick for each category. It’s a long one, so hold on to your butts!

Recorded December 28, 2018

Pentultimate - Ep. 122

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Well ladies and gentlemen, we are winding down to the end of the year. We have been wrapping our presents and putting the bows on top, preparing them for next week’s Game of the Year shows. We decided to discuss 2018 in gaming, attempting to hit all of the major points of the year as a primer for the end of the year. We discuss finally getting to play Sea of Thieves with Shea, and reflecting on where it started out to now. Lastly, we end the show with some Game of the Year polls. Make sure you set some cookies and milk out for us, as next week we are coming to your houses for the end of the year hijinks!

Recorded December 21, 2018

Bone and Snoo - Ep. 121

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A faceless humanoid suddenly appears in a large revolving technological machine. The four of us observe the blank slate; our brains working at hyperlight speed with ideas.

“Give it smaller ears and blue eyes,” Morgan states.

The machine receives the command. Giant panels whir and begin to revolve quickly around the slate. After about 20 second, the creature has ears and eyes matching the request.

“Give it a crew cut, a European nose, and a mouth with giant fangs,” Josh requests.

Again, the machine begins to whir and work, fulfilling the request and revealing the results.

“Make it about 180 centimeters and an athletic build,” Shea demands.

The machine creates and shows off its work.

“Give it a BAC. Also put it in purple pimp garb,” Fish happily directs towards the machine.

The machine beeps for a few seconds, processing the request. A hatch opens that is lined up with Fish’s forehead. The four stare at the machine, confused what is happening. A sawblade shoots out of the machine and severs Fish’s head clean in half.

This week on the Chompcast, we discuss how we all approach character creation. We also discuss an abundance of games, such as Super Smash Ultimate, Supergiant’s new game Hades, Monster Hunter: World, and more.

Recorded December 14, 2018