Jim to His Friends - Ep. 129

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Five hosts. One podcast. Put in the center of the ring with one microphone, five hosts must fight to shout their nonsensical meanderings to you, the listener. Armed with rancorous words and a surplus of phallic japes, they battle to the humiliation. Fish, Josh, Morgan, Shea, and frequent guest, Rich. Listen as they discuss the Nintendo Direct, Apex Legends, Kingdom Hearts 3, Wargroove, and more in this action-packed bloodletting tournament.

Our wonderful sponsors for this week’s episode were Two Girls One Mic and Sassy D Merch. Feel free to check out Yvette and Alice’s podcast here, and please observe the finer wares of the Sassy D merchandise here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Nintendo Direct - 13:08

Listener Comments - 1:02:40

Two Girls One Mic ad - 1:14:59

Apex Legends - 1:16:26

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:33:46

Final Fantasy 8 - 1:35:11

Wargroove - 1:44:42

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:56:00

Recorded February 15, 2019

The Blue Bullet - Ep. 128

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Josh and Shea are sitting by a fireside enjoying a nice glass of Glenlivet and chamomile, respectably. In their maroon, high-backed sofa chairs, they wait. There is a reverential silence between them, both basking in the hearth and savoring their delightful solutions. They glance over at each other after swallowing their sips, and nod their heads while pouting their lower lips out in approval.

Oh, I’m a gummy bear

Yes, I’m a gummy bear

The sound of two chaps singing in the distance prods its way into the scene. The flame begins to flicker in protest. Josh closes his eyes in distress and gently turning his head to the neck. His mouth crunches together to hold in his annoyance. Shea grabs his eyebrow ridges with his right thumb and pointer finger, looking downwards in despair.

Oh, I’m a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear

Josh opens his eyes, and looks at his glass of scotch. He pushes it away, no longer being able to stomach the drink as the sound grows nearer. Shea begins to dry heave lightly, attempting to keep his mouth closed and the tea down as the song violates their ears. The door bursts open, and Fish and Morgan appear in the doorway holding hands. They are sporting bear ears on their heads, short neon shorts, and face paint. They hold their free hands to the sky and tilt their head as they sing:

I’m a jelly bear cause I’M A GUMMY BEAAAAAAR!

Josh punches the glass across the room in rage, shattering the glass. The contents splash all over some very important, incredibly sophisticated leather-bound books, soaking the pages. Shea turns away from everyone and begins to purge onto the mahogany flooring. He wipes his mouth and faces them with tears welled in his eyes and occasionally dripping down his face.

“Please,” Josh looks and says to the two guests, “be quiet. Just hush your perverted tongues.”

Fish and Morgan looks to each other quizzically, and then back to the two in their chairs. They shrug their shoulders. They both open their mouth, taking in a deep breath to continue their song. At that moment, the flame decides that it has had enough of the two’s tomfoolery. It spontaneously roars, causing the entire house to light aflame in a matter of seconds. The four burn and are never heard from again.

This week on the Chompcast, we talk about competitive gaming, and console each other about sucking so hard. Next, we discussed the new battle royale game sweeping the gaming world, Apex Legends. We discuss our first bit of time with Kingdom Hearts 3. Rounding up the end of the show, we discuss the listener poll results.

Thank you to our sponsor Sassy D Merch for providing us with endless phallic jokes and merchandise. If you are interested, check them out here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Competitive Games - 15:57

Listener Comments - 41:19

Apex Legends - 52:02

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:16:53

Sponsored by Sassy D Merch - 1:41:41

Weekly Polls - 1:46:39

Recorded February 8, 2019

Dragon-like Interactions - Ep. 127

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Fish was a dirty rotten bitch this week and decided to talk shit on Skyrim, so this synopsis is going to be petty and, quite frankly, ridiculous. This week, we decided to discuss games that were overrated or underrated with a revisionist history lens. The other three had great input and insight. However, the ichthyoid carcass washed up on the shores of the bog of eternal stench decided to blow his putrid bubbles in the way of a classic (really, he was right; I’m just bitter). Afterwards, we discussed our time with the Resident Evil 2 remake, Josh’s initial thoughts on Kingdom Hearts 3, and I’m sure Fish did something else in the show but I couldn’t care less about it. Oh, and we discussed dragons...because dragons are important. Enjoy the episode, and I hope Sheogorath drives you completely insane, Fish.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Sponsored by Sassy D Merch - 14:38

Overrated Games - 17:00

Listener Comments (Underrated Games) - 55:02

Games We're Playing - 1:21:58

Resident Evil 2 - 1:52:21

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 2:25:50

Recorded on February 1, 2019

The Reverse Yao Ming - Ep. 126

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You jolt up suddenly as you hear a faint scratching on some wood. You rub your eyes, removing the sleep from them. The couch you were sleeping on was a little rough on your back, and you groan as you pry yourself from the cushions. Legs wide, you lean your head down as you let your body and mind wake up. You attempt to shake the sleepiness from your mind, but you are groggy from the nap. Raising your arms up over your head, you stretch as far as your shoulders will allow you to. You let out an emphatic groan in an attempt to push the soreness out of your body. Your shoulder blades pop as the air leaves your joints.

You hear the scratching again, surprising you. You are unsure if it is the scratching of the wind pushing a branch against your home, or if it is something else. You start to feel unnerved as the scratching continues. You realize that the scratching is coming from somewhere in the house. You start to walk around, frantically looking for the source of the scoring. You stand at the foot of your stairs leading up to the next floor, but the sound is dimmer. You look in the rooms on the first floor, but every room is empty. Your family is gone, nowhere to be seen.

You walk over to the doorway of the basement and put your ear to the darkness. You hear the scratching and it is louder. You feel a pain in your chest and you start to feel sick. Fear is taking over your body. Something is not right. You look for the nearest weapon, and you find a sharp kitchen knife that is dirtied with crusted food. You clench it fiercely as you pull out your smartphone, turn on the light function, and flash it as you start to descend the stairs. The wood creaks with each step, adding to your uneasiness. You start to reason that it must be an animal that found its way into your house and is looking for a way out, you try to reason with yourself. Probably a mouse or a rat. But you know you’re lying to yourself. You feel a presence down here that you don’t want to see.

As you are two steps from the bottom, the scratching stops. You can hear yourself breathing as you are almost completely encased by darkness. You shine the light around as you stop at the last step. You slowly move the light from left to right, looking for anything that would cause the noise you heard upstairs. Suddenly, you see the back of a foot and part of someone’s leg. You freeze for a moment, and then move the light over. A person stands there in front of you, faced away and their head hanging to the left. Their right arm is resting on a wooden shelf with large splinters digging into their fingers and hands. Blood is dripping onto the shelf and floor from the hand.

You take a closer look and you recognize the clothes the person is wearing. “That’s...that’s...” Just then, the person’s head slowly raises. It starts to turn around. You can see the blood stained into the front of the shirt. The knees are scraped and ripped, exposing grey flesh. You look at the face and see your significant other. But it’s not your significant other. You see their mouth ajar as saliva and blood drip out of their mouth. The stench is almost unbearable, overwhelming you. You look at the eyes, but you don’t see your significant other. You see a monster. Your heart drops as you are frozen. The monster who used to be your significant lets out a large groan as they start to shuffle over to you.

This week on the podcast, we had a lot to discuss. We start off the discussion by discussing the future of zombies. Is the trope played out, or are there more stories waiting to be written? Next, we finally answer the question a listener posed to us in December: what, in particular, influences us four hosts to choose and play the games that we do? Next, we catch each other up with the games that we have been playing briefly before discussing the results of the social media polls. Sink your teeth into the brains of this episode!

Intro: 0:27

Zombies discussion: 25:40

Listener question: 58:05

Social media polls: 1:27:30

Patreon Shout Outs: 1:54:46

Image by Keith Allison licensed under Creative Commons Attribution

Recorded January 25, 2019

Fish Ditched Us (an excuse to use this picture again) - Ep. 125

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It's the new year, and we are finally back in action. Josh has put the fireworks away, Shea has given up swiping cold turkey, Fish has eaten the turkey, and Morgan continues to fire bottle rockets out of his bare ass. We start the show off with our most anticipated games of 2019. We continue with a gargantuan amount of social media business. Last, we discuss what games we have played over break, such as Into the Breach, Seasons After Fall, and Hello Neighbor. Come start the year off with the Chompcast.

Recorded January 18, 2019

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 2 Part 2

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The day is finally here. Ladies and gentlemen, 2018 has winded down. It has come and gone. We gave it its proper send-off by giving our personal top 5 lists of our favorite games of the year. Then, we sat down the metaphorical table and hashed out Sword Chomp’s top 5 games of the year. There are some expected big players, but the results WILL SHOCK YOU!!! Was that buzzword enough for you?  Don’t miss our final show of 2018. Thank you for the best year of Sword Chomp yet, and here’s to an excellent 2019 together.

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 2 Part 1

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The day is finally here. Ladies and gentlemen, 2018 has winded down. It has come and gone. We gave it its proper send-off by giving our personal top 5 lists of our favorite games of the year. Then, we sat down the metaphorical table and hashed out Sword Chomp’s top 5 games of the year. There are some expected big players, but the results WILL SHOCK YOU!!! Was that buzzword enough for you?  Don’t miss our final show of 2018. Thank you for the best year of Sword Chomp yet, and here’s to an excellent 2019 together.

Recorded January 2, 2019

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 1 Part 2

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right; it’s the moment you guys have been waiting for. It’s the End of the Year shows! The first part, we delve into the first set of categories we have. We look at our favorite art direction, favorite soundtrack, favorite character, the character we would like to have a drink in a bar with, favorite moment, favorite multiplayer moment, favorite gaming feel, favorite gameplay mechanic, favorite ecosystem, favorite haircut, and favorite boss. After we divulge our personal selections, we deliberate, discuss, and attack each other as we pick the Swordchomp pick for each category. It’s a long one, so hold on to your butts!

Recorded December 28, 2018

Chompcast 2018 GotY - Day 1 Part 1

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right; it’s the moment you guys have been waiting for. It’s the End of the Year shows! The first part, we delve into the first set of categories we have. We look at our favorite art direction, favorite soundtrack, favorite character, the character we would like to have a drink in a bar with, favorite moment, favorite multiplayer moment, favorite gaming feel, favorite gameplay mechanic, favorite ecosystem, favorite haircut, and favorite boss. After we divulge our personal selections, we deliberate, discuss, and attack each other as we pick the Swordchomp pick for each category. It’s a long one, so hold on to your butts!

Recorded December 28, 2018

Pentultimate - Ep. 122

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Well ladies and gentlemen, we are winding down to the end of the year. We have been wrapping our presents and putting the bows on top, preparing them for next week’s Game of the Year shows. We decided to discuss 2018 in gaming, attempting to hit all of the major points of the year as a primer for the end of the year. We discuss finally getting to play Sea of Thieves with Shea, and reflecting on where it started out to now. Lastly, we end the show with some Game of the Year polls. Make sure you set some cookies and milk out for us, as next week we are coming to your houses for the end of the year hijinks!

Recorded December 21, 2018

Bone and Snoo - Ep. 121

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A faceless humanoid suddenly appears in a large revolving technological machine. The four of us observe the blank slate; our brains working at hyperlight speed with ideas.

“Give it smaller ears and blue eyes,” Morgan states.

The machine receives the command. Giant panels whir and begin to revolve quickly around the slate. After about 20 second, the creature has ears and eyes matching the request.

“Give it a crew cut, a European nose, and a mouth with giant fangs,” Josh requests.

Again, the machine begins to whir and work, fulfilling the request and revealing the results.

“Make it about 180 centimeters and an athletic build,” Shea demands.

The machine creates and shows off its work.

“Give it a BAC. Also put it in purple pimp garb,” Fish happily directs towards the machine.

The machine beeps for a few seconds, processing the request. A hatch opens that is lined up with Fish’s forehead. The four stare at the machine, confused what is happening. A sawblade shoots out of the machine and severs Fish’s head clean in half.

This week on the Chompcast, we discuss how we all approach character creation. We also discuss an abundance of games, such as Super Smash Ultimate, Supergiant’s new game Hades, Monster Hunter: World, and more.

Recorded December 14, 2018

Epeen - Ep. 120

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We start the month of December off by cutting the fluff and getting into the meaty bits. We change the order of the episode after the intro by quickly touching on the social media polls. After, we discuss the Game Awards announcements and games that won. Next, we do something different this episode by doing a rapid fire of topics given to us by you, the listeners. There is a whole array of discussion sure to tickle everyone’s fancy. Join us for the last month of 2018 as we celebrate the last year in gaming.

Recorded December 7, 2018

A Bright Future - Ep. 119

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Pull up a chair, and grab yourself a Nuka Cola. This week we discuss what Bethesda needs to do to get us excited about Fallout 5 after 76, Josh and Morgan talk about Celeste and The Messenger, and we thank our supporters with a fishing trip. Enjoy the show, and don't let the radroaches bite.

Times:

Intro - 0:27

Fallout Discussion - 13:51

Listener Comments - 39:20

Assassin's Creed Odyssey - 1:06:50

The Messenger - 1:11:10

Celeste - 1:15:35

Patreon shout-out - 1:30:37

In Patreon sketch: "Splash, Jumping, G.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org

Recorded November 30, 2018

I Can't Get No Satisfaction - Ep. 118

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Listen to this show of us arguing about realistic mechanics in video games, or we will be sad. Really sad. So sad that we may take a week off and spend time with our families for Thanksgiving (spoiler alert, that’s what we’re gonna do).

Intros – 0:27

Show Topic – 11:38

Social Media comments – 1:25:18

Polls - 1:42:18

Recorded November 17, 2018

What Makes a Good Snake Oil - Ep. 117

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A magician stands on stage, staring at the crowd as they uproariously applause at his entrance, filled with fireballs and explosions. He revels in the audible praise, feeding his ego to near-unsustainable levels. He raises his hands to quell the cheering. The applause and shouting slowly dies down, as the audience becomes more eager to see what the magician will do. Silence overtakes the hall as the magician proudly stares at his fans.

“You want to be amazed? Well, you’ve come to the right place.”

“We love you!!!” a fanatical fan shouts, eliciting more wild cheers and thunderous clapping. The magician quiets the audience once more.

“First, I will show you the most influential games of my time, driving me to become what I am today.”

The audience looks perplexed, but remains impassioned and hopeful for the best show of their lives.

“I will also discuss games, such as Red Dead Redemption 2, Destiny, Monster Hunter World, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey, Witcher 3, Spiderman, Batman: Arkham Knight, and Diablo Infinite.”

At that moment, another man walks on the stage, and some people clap, as they are confused by what is unfurling before their eyes. There is something familiar about this man, but they cannot pinpoint it.

“Last, my usual assistant is gone for the week. He is a drunkard, so he is nursing his health in an ice bath. In his place is one of the most respected magicians on the other side of the country. Give it up for Cosmic Poptart!”

Recorded November 10, 2018

Phenomenon - Ep. 116

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Well howdy, partner. I see you done just swung them doors open and demanded servicin’. Well, servicin’ you shall get if you got the coin. This week, we are offerin’ a helpful serving of Red Dead 2 discussion, so I hope your pockets are ready to receive. Oh, and while we’re at it, we have our thoughts on those open world games and what is settin’ the bar nowadays. Good ol’ Fish manages to play Into the Breach, and we reckon it’s just about time. Last, we start hootin’ and hollerin’ about the PS Classic and the complete list of games. You don’t have the coin? Then git the hell out of here!

Recorded November 2, 2018

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Games - Ep. 115

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On this week’s episode of the Chompcast, we discussed games that are “bad” but we would recommend to a friend to play anyways. As always, we ran down the list of listener polls from the social media. Next, we discussed our opinion on the VR sleeper hit, Astroboy. We delved into our initial thoughts on Red Dead Redemption 2, with plenty to come in the following week. Josh and Shea ran through their time with Cross Code, an indie jRPG. Finally, we delivered another Patreon shout-out skit for our wonderful Patrons.

Intro - 0:27

Topic - 19:09

Social Media Polls - 55:19

Red Dead Redemption 2 - 1:11:53

Astrobot Rescue Mission - 1:53:55

CrossCode - 1:58:58

Patreon Shout-outs - 2:11:49

Tumbleweed sound:

made by Duckduckphony

CC Attribution 3.0

https://freesound.org/people/duckduckpony/sounds/204028/

Neighing Horse sound:

made by Soundslikewillem

CC Attribution NonCommercial 3.0

https://freesound.org/people/soundslikewillem/sounds/418428/

Recorded October 26, 2018

Al(le)gory - Ep. 114

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We have a special episode for you this week, as Morgan is joined by none other than Fish and Josh in his podcasting lair IN THE FLESH. That’s right. Fish and Josh are in Montana this week for Morgan’s wedding, and we were able to fit in another episode of the Chompcast. We discuss balancing relationships and marriage with gaming. Is there a catch-all solution, or is it case by case? We bolster the topic with comments from you lovely people. We also reveal the results of the weekly polls. We cap off this wonderful episode with discussion of Astroboy, My Memory of Us, and briefly mention CrossCode. Hop on in for this wedding extravaganza of an episode!

 

Intro – 0:27

Relationships/Marriage and Video Gaming – 17:37

Listener Comments – 33:08

Astrobot – 01:03:20

Polls – 01:14:30

My Memory of Us – 01:21:56

CrossCode – 01:42:00

Outro – 01:42:28

Wah Hoo - Ep. 113

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What the hell, Fish? You decided to leave us alone this week while we recorded the podcast? How could you do this to us? We talked about real-life scenarios in video games and if they are more affecting, but you weren’t even there to weigh in on that. It really hurts, man. On top of that, we had our wonderful Chompers weighed in with some tasteful and interesting perspectives, but you weren’t there to hear them. The polls were fun as always, but you were off gallivanting around, traipsing off to Montana to go to some wedding or something. Well… I hope that you’re at least here next week. We missed you. No one can fill your shoes.

Recorded October 12, 2018