World of Warcraft

Mystery Driller - Ep. 158

mystery driller.png

A man arose from a bed with a jolt, disoriented and unsure of everything. Where was he? How did he get here? Why was he naked? What fabric softener was used on these sheets that he was under? He scanned the room he was in, giving his eyes a few second to focus. It was sterile and spartan. There were items in the room, but he did not recognize them. What was their use?

He pushed himself up from the bed and began to look at the items. None were useful, so he quickly lost interest. He began to scan the walls and look for an exit. He felt around for a while but could find no door. There were no windows for him to peek out of. He was trapped in the room with no memory, no food, nothing to do, and no escape. He gave up, sat on the bed, and waited.

Hours passed by as he sat there, thinking. He could remember earlier parts of his life, but when he thought about how he got here or why he was here, the memories were fuzzy. It was almost as if they were being blocked by a mental barrier. Nothing he did was bringing himself closer to remembering.

Suddenly a part of the wall opened. A doorway formed, and a few unknown figures stepped through. The man stood up immediately and braced himself. His body went into a fight or flight response. He was ready for anything. Two people stood in the room opposite him. He looked at one, noticing that he was a doctor immediately.

When he gazed upon the other one, he was shocked. He gasped as he took a step back. There before him stood a man that looked exactly like him. The only differences were the lack of blemishes on this imposter’s face and the terrible, atrocious, garbage haircut that he had. I mean, the haircut was, like, really fucking bad. So so bad. How could they fuck it up? Ugh, Anyways.

“Who are you?” the man yelled at the imposter, immediately wanting answers. He had not noticed that he had completely forgone formalities or courtesies.

“He is you,” the first strange man answered. “We cloned you, making his face look more perceivable than yours. Astonishing, yeah?”

The man was taken aback. He stared hard for a few seconds before replying, “I mean, yes, the face looks incredible. But what the hell did you do to his hair?”

This week on the Chompcast, we discussed the awesome 40-minute Nintendo Direct that dropped last week. We wrangled up some polls for you to vote on. We also had a healthy, lengthy discussion of the Final Fantasy 8 remaster. Jokes were abound in this episode. Hop right in and enjoy!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Nintendo Direct - 14:26

Overwatch - 17:05

Little Town Hero - 22:26

Xenoblade Chronicals - 54:05

World of Warcraft Classic - 58:47

Minecraft interlude (and then back to WoW) - 1:00:16

Polls - 1:17:00

Final Fantasy 8 Remaster - 1:31:46

Days Gone - 2:01:51

Recorded September 6, 2019

Word Pictures - Ep. 136

Word Picture.jpg

This week the Sword Chomp crew (sans Shea) discuss the games that have gotten them through tough times. Without the professor droning on and on forever, there's room for tons of listener comments (and there were a lot of great ones on this topic) and catching up on what everyone has been playing. Pull up a drink, and crack open an easy chair while we talk about the Spyro Reignited Trilogy, Wandersong, Hollow Knight, Baba Is You, Elder Scrolls Blades, and much more. Enjoy the show!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Using Games to Cope - 4:30

Spyro Reignited Trilogy - 22:11

Listener Comments - 28:00

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:07:26

Wandersong - 1:11:50

Hollow Knight - 1:19:25

Baba Is You - 1:32:42

No Man's Sky VR - 1:39:55

Elder Scrolls Blades - 1:46:52

Last Minute Listener Comment - 1:57:52

Recorded April 5, 2019

The Blue Bullet - Ep. 128

blue bullet.png

Josh and Shea are sitting by a fireside enjoying a nice glass of Glenlivet and chamomile, respectably. In their maroon, high-backed sofa chairs, they wait. There is a reverential silence between them, both basking in the hearth and savoring their delightful solutions. They glance over at each other after swallowing their sips, and nod their heads while pouting their lower lips out in approval.

Oh, I’m a gummy bear

Yes, I’m a gummy bear

The sound of two chaps singing in the distance prods its way into the scene. The flame begins to flicker in protest. Josh closes his eyes in distress and gently turning his head to the neck. His mouth crunches together to hold in his annoyance. Shea grabs his eyebrow ridges with his right thumb and pointer finger, looking downwards in despair.

Oh, I’m a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear

Josh opens his eyes, and looks at his glass of scotch. He pushes it away, no longer being able to stomach the drink as the sound grows nearer. Shea begins to dry heave lightly, attempting to keep his mouth closed and the tea down as the song violates their ears. The door bursts open, and Fish and Morgan appear in the doorway holding hands. They are sporting bear ears on their heads, short neon shorts, and face paint. They hold their free hands to the sky and tilt their head as they sing:

I’m a jelly bear cause I’M A GUMMY BEAAAAAAR!

Josh punches the glass across the room in rage, shattering the glass. The contents splash all over some very important, incredibly sophisticated leather-bound books, soaking the pages. Shea turns away from everyone and begins to purge onto the mahogany flooring. He wipes his mouth and faces them with tears welled in his eyes and occasionally dripping down his face.

“Please,” Josh looks and says to the two guests, “be quiet. Just hush your perverted tongues.”

Fish and Morgan looks to each other quizzically, and then back to the two in their chairs. They shrug their shoulders. They both open their mouth, taking in a deep breath to continue their song. At that moment, the flame decides that it has had enough of the two’s tomfoolery. It spontaneously roars, causing the entire house to light aflame in a matter of seconds. The four burn and are never heard from again.

This week on the Chompcast, we talk about competitive gaming, and console each other about sucking so hard. Next, we discussed the new battle royale game sweeping the gaming world, Apex Legends. We discuss our first bit of time with Kingdom Hearts 3. Rounding up the end of the show, we discuss the listener poll results.

Thank you to our sponsor Sassy D Merch for providing us with endless phallic jokes and merchandise. If you are interested, check them out here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Competitive Games - 15:57

Listener Comments - 41:19

Apex Legends - 52:02

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:16:53

Sponsored by Sassy D Merch - 1:41:41

Weekly Polls - 1:46:39

Recorded February 8, 2019