Apex Legends

Scroteez - Ep. 156

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The windows are and doors are boarded up. Furniture is shoved against them. 4 huddle in the center of the room, shaking as they clutch their weapons. Sweat beads from their brows as the air is thick with their frightened breath. They can hear the clawing and scratching at the walls. The groans and snarls seep their way through the boards and into the ears of the 4. Boards splinter and crack as the horde attempt to pry their way in to devour the meat bags.

One breaks through and charges at the four. Fish blasts it away with a shotgun. The rotting flesh flies back and sprays multiple members of the horde break into the room. Gunshots and blades tear into the horde. The four are overwhelmed quickly and it seems as if they will be eaten. A deafening barrage of bullets blast into the horde repeatedly, mowing them down with ease. The horde outside is quickly disposed of while the four barely escape death.

They remove the furniture and boards and exit the front door, looking to meet their savior. They see a man with side burns and a camo hat sat atop an artillery gun attached to a tank.

“Call me Sickboy.”

This week on the Chompcast, we have our good friend Paul over at S1ckboy Lounge joined us and brought the topic of indie games for us to discuss. We discussed our weekly polls and listener comments. We also managed to talk about some games, such as Days Gone and Apex Legends.

Please check out our sponsor, Poster Burner, here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Indie Games - 15:45

Listener Comments - 30:33

Default Shepard - 48:04

Ass-hats and microtransactions - 1:03:54

Poster Burner ad - 1:45:33

Weekly round-up - 1:48:40

Days Gone - 1:54:58

DARQ - 2:05:00

Listener Emails - 2:24:55

Recorded August 23, 2019

Ceaseless Discharge - Ep. 150

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Episode 150! To celebrate looking back on 150 shows together we look back at the first half of 2019. Your emcee this week is Shea Layton, filling in for Morgan Barnes who has his poor broken leg propped up and resting.

What games have stuck with us? What memories have just bubbled away like phlegm on a hot sidewalk? Join us to find out. We hope you enjoy the show!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Favorite games from first half 2019 - 12:12

Listener Comments - 55:19

Sassy Dicks ad - 1:20:33

Weekly Polls - 1:23:29

Super Mario Maker 2 - 1:52:46

Sea of Solitude - 1:59:23

150 Game - 2:23:18

Recorded July 12, 2019

A Dark Twist - Ep. 133

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Ladies and gentlemen, this is the podcast that Morgan and Shea have been waiting for. This week, the topic of the Chompcast was sports gaming. Do we like it? Is it still interesting? Getting through Josh’s groans every 12 seconds (not really), we discussed our social media polls and interactions throughout the week. The actual gameplay was a bit slim, as we sadly didn’t play much this week. Dig your veneers into this fun-filled episode by the crew of Swordchomp!

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Sports Games - 15:45

Listener Comments - 56:25

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:23:54

Weekly Polls - 1:27:21

Patreon Poll - 1:58:48

Recorded March 15, 2019

Jim to His Friends - Ep. 129

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Five hosts. One podcast. Put in the center of the ring with one microphone, five hosts must fight to shout their nonsensical meanderings to you, the listener. Armed with rancorous words and a surplus of phallic japes, they battle to the humiliation. Fish, Josh, Morgan, Shea, and frequent guest, Rich. Listen as they discuss the Nintendo Direct, Apex Legends, Kingdom Hearts 3, Wargroove, and more in this action-packed bloodletting tournament.

Our wonderful sponsors for this week’s episode were Two Girls One Mic and Sassy D Merch. Feel free to check out Yvette and Alice’s podcast here, and please observe the finer wares of the Sassy D merchandise here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Nintendo Direct - 13:08

Listener Comments - 1:02:40

Two Girls One Mic ad - 1:14:59

Apex Legends - 1:16:26

Sassy D Merch ad - 1:33:46

Final Fantasy 8 - 1:35:11

Wargroove - 1:44:42

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:56:00

Recorded February 15, 2019

The Blue Bullet - Ep. 128

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Josh and Shea are sitting by a fireside enjoying a nice glass of Glenlivet and chamomile, respectably. In their maroon, high-backed sofa chairs, they wait. There is a reverential silence between them, both basking in the hearth and savoring their delightful solutions. They glance over at each other after swallowing their sips, and nod their heads while pouting their lower lips out in approval.

Oh, I’m a gummy bear

Yes, I’m a gummy bear

The sound of two chaps singing in the distance prods its way into the scene. The flame begins to flicker in protest. Josh closes his eyes in distress and gently turning his head to the neck. His mouth crunches together to hold in his annoyance. Shea grabs his eyebrow ridges with his right thumb and pointer finger, looking downwards in despair.

Oh, I’m a yummy tummy funny lucky gummy bear

Josh opens his eyes, and looks at his glass of scotch. He pushes it away, no longer being able to stomach the drink as the sound grows nearer. Shea begins to dry heave lightly, attempting to keep his mouth closed and the tea down as the song violates their ears. The door bursts open, and Fish and Morgan appear in the doorway holding hands. They are sporting bear ears on their heads, short neon shorts, and face paint. They hold their free hands to the sky and tilt their head as they sing:

I’m a jelly bear cause I’M A GUMMY BEAAAAAAR!

Josh punches the glass across the room in rage, shattering the glass. The contents splash all over some very important, incredibly sophisticated leather-bound books, soaking the pages. Shea turns away from everyone and begins to purge onto the mahogany flooring. He wipes his mouth and faces them with tears welled in his eyes and occasionally dripping down his face.

“Please,” Josh looks and says to the two guests, “be quiet. Just hush your perverted tongues.”

Fish and Morgan looks to each other quizzically, and then back to the two in their chairs. They shrug their shoulders. They both open their mouth, taking in a deep breath to continue their song. At that moment, the flame decides that it has had enough of the two’s tomfoolery. It spontaneously roars, causing the entire house to light aflame in a matter of seconds. The four burn and are never heard from again.

This week on the Chompcast, we talk about competitive gaming, and console each other about sucking so hard. Next, we discussed the new battle royale game sweeping the gaming world, Apex Legends. We discuss our first bit of time with Kingdom Hearts 3. Rounding up the end of the show, we discuss the listener poll results.

Thank you to our sponsor Sassy D Merch for providing us with endless phallic jokes and merchandise. If you are interested, check them out here.

Times:

Intros - 0:27

Competitive Games - 15:57

Listener Comments - 41:19

Apex Legends - 52:02

Kingdom Hearts 3 - 1:16:53

Sponsored by Sassy D Merch - 1:41:41

Weekly Polls - 1:46:39

Recorded February 8, 2019